Category: Getting to Know You

a column dedicated to the folks in the pews

Written by Dale Buchanan

On a recent Sunday morning I walked up to the front door of the Big Red Church where the ushers handed me an Order of Worship. I picked up my old man’s cushion and found my regular pew. Gayle was off doing her thing, Scott was blessing us with beautiful music, and I glanced through this bulletin. Then I really looked at it

Every Sunday morning someone hands it to me. I do my ritual while the music plays, I use it to follow along with what is happening during worship, and the I discard it without another thought until next Sunday morning when I expect to be handed a new one. I started asking questions and found that the process of getting that Order of Worship—which I take for granted—is mind boggling. So many folks involved.

Our behind the scenes pew person this time is Adua Butticci. I found her on a Friday morning in the church office with a stack of papers which was, of course, the unassembled Order of Worship. You will find Adua there every Friday collating, folding, and in general giving us a tool to make our worship a more rewarding experience.

Adua was born in San Francisco. Her parents were first generation Italians. At age 14 Adua’s family moved to Merced where her father tried his hand at farming. Adua was not impressed with the rural life of the Central Valley and at age 17 escaped back to the Bay Area and lived with her sister in San Jose. There she enrolled at San Jose State University and earned her degree in social sciences. She then joined the Grail, a Roman Catholic version of the Peace Corp. Its mission was to empower women.

Along the way, Adua moved to Fresno, married, raised a family, and pursued her profession. But this is not all. Adua loves to dance—specifically the Argentine Tango. This dance she has had to give up because the men tango dancers have all disappeared. Not one to be defeated, she joined a group that dances Polynesian—no partner is required. As an afterthought she mentioned that she works out three days a week where they do a Colombian dance called the Zumba. Lest I forget, this amazing woman also sings in the Big Red choir. How she finds the time is a mystery to me!

Adua’s first words to me were, “I really don’t have anything valuable to say.” I am here to tell you that this soft spoken woman has much to say that cannot be spoken in this Reader’s Digest condensed version of her story. It is really just a teaser. Look her up, take her out to lunch, talk to her. You will be blessed.

As I wrapped up I asked my last question to which she replied, “Dale, I came to the Big Red Church in 1990 searching for something and I found it here. I stay because of the people.”

Dale Buchanan is a member of FCCF with a passion for stories and writing. In between penning his own memoirs, he is helping us get to know our members, one pew at a time.

a column dedicated to the folks in the pews

Written by Dale Buchanan

This reporter caught up with Randy Oftedal in the kitchen where he was busy slicing watermelons into child-size pieces for the Friday session of Kidmunity Music Camp at Big Red Church. I had to negotiate a bit to get him to slow down enough to talk with me. With all due respect for the butcher knife he was expertly wielding, we came to terms. He could keep slicing and I could ask my questions. I kept a respectful distance from the knife.

Randy was born in Fresno in 1949 of Norwegian stock. His father’s family settled in Fresno around 1890. His grandfather, Zeeb, three times removed, witnessed a murder and after testifying, he was shot and killed outside the Acme Bar on Mariposa Street in Fresno. His mother’s folks made the journey from Norway and settled in Clovis in 1903. His grandfather was one of the first city council members of Clovis.

The Norwegian surname, Oftedal, means “swan valley” in English. I find that beautiful and romantic, especially when contrasted with my own Scottish surname which means “big cow pasture.”

Randy and I were on a roll. I was asking questions and he was chopping melons. The answers were coming fast and furious. We talked about his wife Judy and his sons, Martin and Daniel. The grandchildren also got a fair bit of grandfatherly praise.

Randy loves fast cars and food. I suppose that the fast part might explain the speed with which he wields the butcher knife. And his love of food suggests to me his passion—almost obsession—with our Big Red Church Pantry food distribution program.

I have purposely written in the first person to emphasize my respect for Randy and Judy. They are relatively new members of Big Red, and they have been a breath of fresh air. Their mantra seems to be “feed my sheep.”

A group of dedicated Big Red family members have enthusiastically joined in the mission to feed the hungry. Twice a week some of the children in the neighborhood Head Start program receive a bag of groceries that goes home with them. Once a month free food is distributed to anyone who comes to the front door of the fellowship hall. And the newest project is a Sunday meal delivered to the homeless camped around the Poverello House.

Fundraisers, donations, and astute shopping have made this Big Red ministry self-supporting. Once a month there is a meeting to discuss ways and means to meet the goal of reaching out to those who are hungry.
I encourage you to get to know Randy. Be aware, however, that if you do, you may very well find yourself signing up as a volunteer in the Pantry program.

Dale Buchanan is a member of FCCF with a passion for stories and writing. In between penning his own memoirs, he is helping us get to know our members, one pew at a time.

a column dedicated to the folks in the pews

Written by Dale Buchanan

Our pew person this week is Joel Bright. He is one of those behind the scenes members of our church family who quietly goes about the business of getting stuff done. Joel is of recent vintage at the Big Red Church, but that has not prevented him from being involved in all sorts of projects and also participating in the lay functions on Sunday morning worship. On Father’s Day, he, along with several other pew folks, will be preparing a meal for the church family after worship in the Fellowship Hall. I tried to do my reporter thing and get him to give me a scoop on the menu. Joe’s surname is not Bright for nothing, he did a bunch of doublespeak, and I have no advanced news of the Father’s Day luncheon menu.

I asked Joel for a short biography. It went something like this, “I have been married to Tracy for 21 years. She is the love of my life and the mother of my two children: Georgia, eighteen, is on her way to Santa Clara University this fall, and my son Spencer is thirteen and enrolled at University High School this next semester. I have worked for Albright Electrical for 20 years. I was born in Madison, Wisconsin, and lived there until I graduated from Memorial High School in the class of 1984.”

I requested a short biography and this is what I got! I did not push for more and obviously there is a lot more. My thought was to encourage you, if you have not done so, to shake this family member’s hand and ask, “Joel, where were you during the time between Madison and Fresno?”

I met Joel soon after he and Tracy arrived at Big Red. Not because I was particularly outgoing or friendly—they were! Mayo Goliti introduced us and we were off to the races. Smiles, hugs, bright and cheerful conversation, quick witted humor, along with clever and intelligent retorts drew me to them immediately. Take a chance and get to know Joel and Tracy. You won’t regret it.

I am running out of space but I am not out of notes. It occurs to me that the best way to get a handle on Joel and his behind the scenes mission is to understand that, like his surname, he makes everything he touches “bright.” Currently this bright, lively gentleman is working on illuminating The Big Red Church by upgrading all of the overhead lights in the sanctuary. And Joel Bright said, “Let there be light.”

Dale Buchanan is a member of FCCF with a passion for stories and writing. In between penning his own memoirs, he is helping us get to know our members, one pew at a time.

a column dedicated to the folks in the pews

Written by Dale Buchanan

Joel was born and grew up in Los Angeles. He came to Fresno to finish his education and after graduation was a social worker specializing in counseling for forty years.

“What motivated you to make this your career?” I asked. Joel replied, “I have always liked people and been extremely interested in what makes them tick.” My next question was, “Joel, have you, in your search for what makes us tick, found a common denominator that explains why we all act like we do?”  His answer was, “It seems to me a two-part answer. One, we are human, and two, we are each and every one of us distinct and unique individuals.” 

I talked for two hours with this venerable gentleman. My questions kept coming and with each answer I had another question which was patiently and thoughtfully answered. My notes flowed onto the paper—page after page of rich insights into this sweet and gentle man who has quietly occupied a pew at Big Red for decades.

Did I mention that Joel is a gifted poet? Joel’s poetry reflects a darkness when it speaks of his childhood. At a very young age Joel’s father died of cancer. Without a trace of bitterness or hate, he looked me in the eye and said, “My mother suffered a nervous breakdown and stopped wanting to be my mother. When I was eight years old my twin brothers and I were locked up for three years in a camp where we were abused in every imaginable way from beatings to verbal abuse and deprivation.”

“Joel, how did you survive all of this?” “I was crazy at first,” Joel replied. “Therapy helped and when I am blue Linda comforts me.”

Linda was raised by
good enough parents and family:
I learned to walk on 
my knees as a child
in hollow loneliness

(from “Simple Things”)

And this profound description of aging:

Cheeks and foreheads furrowed
in wrinkles,
thinning hair, grey beard, yellow teeth,
arms not strong enough to lift 
grocery bags or scrub floors. . .
The young dance with possibilities. . .
We elders are walking libraries. . .

(from “All in All”)

This poem speaks of all of our inner struggles to achieve:

I'm dried out; my poems
are fallen crisp leaves drained of
sap. . .
The green fuse that drives
the flower ushers our creativity.
We are tender red roses bathed
in petals of sunlight and fog. . .
Stop this self-serving complaining. . .

(from “The Blessing to Time”)

Joel met his wife Linda for piano lessons. It took about a year for lessons to blossom into love. He confided that he only learned to play a little. The love has lasted a life time.

Dale Buchanan is a member of FCCF with a passion for stories and writing. In between penning his own memoirs, he is helping us get to know our members, one pew at a time. 

a column dedicated to the folks in the pews

Written by Dale Buchanan

On a Sunday morning not long ago, I put Gayle on an airplane for St. Louis. After seeing her off, I had a choice. I could go home, wait 10 minutes, and then drive to church, or drive to church and wait an hour for the service at 10 a.m.

I went directly to church and parked in my favorite space near the front door. I was surprised to hear music from inside the sanctuary. I peeked in the front doors thinking maybe I was late. The pews were mostly empty, but the chancel was teeming with life. The choir or the music makers were there and in full swing. I eased down into a pew, and I was allowed to share with five or six other early comers, a preview of the morning’s music—an experience I highly recommend. Some Sunday morning in the fall when the music makers again occupy the chancel, buy a cup of coffee, slip into the Big Red Church, and be blessed with your own private concert.

The stated purpose of this column is to get to know those who labor from the pews. The music makers in our church are a diverse and varied group, rich with individual stories which I hope to be able to chronicle. However, it occurs to me that they function as one. And it is this oneness that is remarkable. This oneness comes from their dedication to service and hours and hours of practice and rehearsals. They are in fact a team.

It is summer and the choir has disappeared. My first summer here at Big Red, I was shocked the Sunday the choir vanished. The music makers were my favorite part. They still are!

So where do they come from in the fall and where do they fade away come summer? After an extensive search and serious investigation, I found the missing choir. They aren’t missing at all. They take off their choir robes and return to the pews from which they came. Listen carefully and you will hear them lifting their voices in communal praise with the rest of us.

They are from the pews. They occupy a unique and special place in our midst. They come as individuals from our pews volunteering to serve the church as a group. They become one in their dedicated service. Our music makers are not unsung heroes—they are singing heroes.

Dale Buchanan is a member of FCCF with a passion for stories and writing. In between penning his own memoirs, he is helping us get to know our members, one pew at a time. 

a column dedicated to the folks in the pews

Written by Dale Buchanan

Our pew person this week is Bitsy Wagman. I am sure that most of you have met this friendly, smiling woman if you have been at Big Red more than two or three times.  When I first showed up at the church two years ago, she was one of the first folks to make me feel welcome.

She introduced herself as Bitsy, and being an addicted name-a-holic, I have been consumed with curiosity every since that first introduction. So when we sat down to talk my very first question was, “How did you get your name?” Her response was, “I was born tiny.” My thought was, “Well, you never got over that!” It seems there was a cousin who pronounced her given name “Bitsybuth,” and this wee Minnesota baby became Bitsy instead of Elizabeth.  

Her family, like so many Midwestern families, migrated to Southern California when she was two years old. Dad was an accountant, and Mom a teacher.  

Everything was just going along as expected. I asked the questions and she graciously answered. Then at some point in our interview, Bitsy asked the question, “Dale, you know that Lew and I had an arranged marriage, don’t you?” That got my attention! I could only answer, “No, tell me.” I squeezed my pen and started writing:

“Mom managed the apartment complex where we lived in addition to teaching school.  One fine day a young man from Pennsylvania rented an apartment. I am sure you have guessed it was Lew. My mother and all of her friends began to plot. I was marrying age and Lew was a fine young man who needed a wife. LEW NEVER HAD A CHANCE!  Mom and her friends found every way in the world to arrange our courtship. We were married, as they planned, and it has worked out very well.”

Realizing that I had lost control, I just sat back and tried to get it down as Bitsy smoothly moved to her 36 years as a teacher. It was at this point in her narrative that she revealed her passion. I tried to interrupt her with my vision of this piece, and she sweetly replied, “That is all well and good, Dale, but my passion, my story, my justification, my life is all about teaching—teaching school-aged parents.”  

This fledgling reporter closed his notebook and just listened. Physically a tiny bit of a woman, BITSY HAS THE LOVING, GIANT HEART OF AN ANGEL.

Dale Buchanan is a member of FCCF with a passion for stories and writing. In between penning his own memoirs, he is helping us get to know our members, one pew at a time. 

a column dedicated to the folks in the pews

Written by Dale Buchanan

I expected the interview to be the most difficult part of this weekly column about those who occupy and labor from the pews at the Big Red Church. Surprisingly, it has not worked out that way. No one has refused me an interview, and everyone has been more than gracious as I stumbled along asking questions. I have no experience as a journalist, but these folks love their ministries and seem more than happy to share the details with me.  

On Sunday afternoon, May 6th, I hesitantly approached Michelle Krenz. She and a couple of other women were engaged in animated conversation. I finally got up the courage to insert myself into their lively discussion. To my surprise, Michelle excused herself from her friends and asked, “When?” I replied, “Now!” We found a quiet corner in the fellowship hall, and it was off to the races. We laughed and shared church stories for a good part of an hour.

There was no small talk or icebreaking. This woman went straight to the point. “Okay, Dale, what do you want to talk about?” I told her I would ask a question and let her just take off with it. The first question on my little script was, “Where were you born?” Alexander, Kentucky, was her answer. That was the last of my formal questions. She just took off with her story.

Michelle’s dad was a minister and her mom was a teacher, and as we talked it became obvious that her life revolved around home and church. Her mother is Judy Frost. Her dad’s name was Abner Frost and his nickname was Frosty. He was the first Protestant chaplain at St. Agnes Hospital. Her family moved to Fresno when Michelle was 13 years old, and she joined the Big Red Church at age 16. She has been married to Tom for 25 years and their marriage has been blessed with two children: Adam and Olivia.  

Among other things, Michelle taught Sunday school for 15 years, was a youth leader, and has been involved in summer church camp forever. In passing she mentioned that she has for many years prepared the bread for communion. This tidbit delighted me because one of my favorite memories as a child is waking on Sunday mornings to the sounds of my mother preparing the bread for communion service at our little church.

I finally asked Michelle what her hobbies were. She looked surprised and said, “That’s what we have been talking about.” I persisted with, “But I am asking what you do for yourself?”  Her answer: being the camp lady and baking bread for communion.

Dale Buchanan is a member of FCCF with a passion for stories and writing. In between penning his own memoirs, he is helping us get to know our members, one pew at a time. 

a column dedicated to the folks in the pews

Written by Dale Buchanan

In my opinion the most remarkable thing about the Big Red Church is the diversity found among the family members whose stated purpose is that we are “a caring and affirmative church.” As I compile my list of the multitude of behind-the-scene heroes who labor tirelessly and unrecognized from the pews of the Big Red Church, I continue to be amazed. That caring and affirmative slogan is not just a slogan, it is a way of life.

Our pew person this week is Kymberly Lindsey. Born in Los Angeles and raised in Southern California, she moved here with her wife Debra in 1991. They have been married for 38 years! From our more or less simultaneous arrival at the Big Red Church, we have experienced a symbiotic, spontaneous friendship—a black woman from L.A. and a white, red-necked fundamentalist—the best of friends. There is something wonderful going on here at the Big Red Church.

Let’s switch gears. Kymberly is that smiling woman you see moving around hugging and greeting folks in the sanctuary on Sunday morning. Get to know her like I have and her edgy sense of humor will keep you in stitches. Multi-talented, Kymberly writes, tells charming stories, and makes music, but her passion is cooking and baking.

I asked her how she became so passionate about cooking. That question gave me insight into her home life. I learned in narrative form about her mother, father, and siblings. I saw through her words a clear picture of the children taking turns washing dishes. I heard her mother saying, “It is time for you to learn how to cook.” Her resistance to this added chore became the joy of her life.

It was as we talked about cooking and baking, that I gleaned a bit of Kymberly’s philosophy. Right from the git-go she told me in no uncertain terms that her philosophy was, “Don’t ask if you don’t want to know.” With that expression, I stopped trying to tiptoe around and just asked my pointed questions, and she answered without hesitation.

Jesus was good friends with two sisters—Mary and Martha. Mary sat at the feet of Jesus. Martha cooked, cleaned, and served. Thank God for the Martha named Kymberly in our midst.

Dale Buchanan is a member of FCCF with a passion for stories and writing. In between penning his own memoirs, he is helping us get to know our members, one pew at a time. 

a column dedicated to the folks in the pews

Written by Dale Buchanan

Dennis Freeman has been a member of the Big Red Church for quite some time. He recalls that he arrived at the same time as Norman Broadbent became our settled minister, which would mean he has been here between 10 and 11 years. When I was approached about writing this column dedicated to those who serve from our pews, I was amazed at the number of you who spend an inordinate amount of your time serving this church. Dennis is just such a person. Working behind the scenes, he is one of our unsung heroes.

Have you ever wondered who does a host of the odd jobs that make our worship and fellowship so pleasant and worry free? We know the minister. We line up to shake his hand in appreciation, and that is only right. However, there are so many more who serve in support behind the scenes that deserve our thanks and even praise.

I sat down on a pleasant Sunday afternoon recently and interviewed Dennis. I must confess that until that moment I had never spoken to him. My loss! Dennis was born in Taft. His family lived in Tulare, Fresno, San Jose, and Felton where he graduated from high school in 1955. Somewhere along the line, the interview turned into a conversation and we talked. Dennis is a retired Civil Maintenance Superintendent for the San Luis and Delta Mendota Water Authority. The Delta Mendota Canal begins at Tracy and stretches 101 miles to Mendota.

While it is true that Dennis works behind the scenes and does odd jobs at the Big Red Church that most of us never think about, it is also true that he likes people and enjoys working with and being a part of that “roll up your sleeves” multitude of Christians who keep the lights burning and the water running.

One last thought about Dennis. He is a natural storyteller with 10 years of stories about the behind-the-scenes folks and their adventures. I highly recommend that you find an hour when Jason does not have him busy and get to know Dennis. You will not regret it.

Dale Buchanan is a member of FCCF with a passion for stories and writing. In between penning his own memoirs, he is helping us get to know our members, one pew at a time. 

a column dedicated to the folks in the pews

Written by Dale Buchanan

Our pew person this week is Gayle Thornton, since we are a family I will refer to her simply as Gayle from this point on. I attend The Big Red Church because of Gayle. Thus, I admit that I am biased in this reporting.

Gayle was born in Deadwood, South Dakota the infamous hideout, of many famous American outlaws. What drew her folks to the Bad Lands remains a mystery. At a very young age, they left South Dakota, for Colorado, where she grew up, married and gave birth to her girls Hillary and Susanna. Her young family migrated to Stockton where she lived for forty years she has been in Fresno for ten years and for eight years a member of the big red church.

If you see Gayle on Sunday mornings you will see this sweet Christian lady. Prim and pious. Proper and serious—and that would be right. She serves as liturgist when called on, is the coordinator of caring ministries, which means she keeps the family’s prayer warriors current on prayer concerns and is active in the visitation of those in need. She is active in the pantry ministry, and has delivered more than 100 hand knitted prayer shawls to church family, and dearly loves her big red church family.

Let me be very clear, Gayle is one of us. I have deliberately painted, in this thumbnail sketch, a portrait, of a very human woman. When, she prays for you it comes from her heart. When she advises you, she speaks from experience and hard realized lessons.

Get to know Gayle, experience the pure joy of her laughter and the twinkle in her eyes as she shares some antidote. Get to know Gayle and you will for sure get a big smile, and in all probability a loving hug.

Dale Buchanan is a member of FCCF with a passion for stories and writing. In between penning his own memoirs, he is helping us get to know our members, one pew at a time.