Getting to Know You: Judy Oftedal

a column dedicated to the folks in the pews

Written by Dale Buchanan

During my two and a half years attending Big Red Church, my most frequent question to myself has been, “Dale, what makes this church such a special place?”

Today I am spotlighting my 13th “from the pews” person, and it seems clear to me that what makes Big Red special is the people and what makes the people special is the diversity that in some wonderful way welds us all together as a family. We are different and that is okay.  We love, we defend, we cherish, not because of, but in spite of.  We are family.

Judy and I have since day one enjoyed an easy sense of camaraderie.  When we sat down to talk, I opened my notebook and said, “OK, Judy, talk to me.”  Imagine my surprise when she said, “Oh, Dale, I can’t do that. You will have to ask me questions.  I have always been very shy. I was bullied as a child and still have to work hard to overcome my shyness and fear.”  Here is an example of that specialness I am speaking of. I have teased Judy unmercifully for two years, and she loves me not because of but in spite of.  

“Judy, where were you born?”  “I was born right here in Fresno.  In fact I was born and raised and have lived all my life within a three mile radius of Fresno (Street) and Ashland (Avenue).”  It is amazing what you learn when you ask, “Where were you born?”

When this shy woman paused for breath, I asked, “How did you and Randy meet?”  At this point I met another Judy. A faraway look, a soft smile, and a dreamy tone of voice prefaced this next part of the interview.  “We went on our first date on May 28, 1971.” “Wait, wait,” I exclaimed, “do you expect me to believe that you remember the exact day of your first date?”  In the same dreamy voice she answered, “Yes, it was May 28, 1971, a B.B. King concert. And I knew then and there that he was the man for me. We were married on August 25, 1973.  That is just short of 45 years, and it has been a good run.”

Afraid of breaking the spell of her narrative, I asked, “What about your family?”  Her demeanor did not change. “I love my husband and I love my children and grandchildren.  Randy is my rock. Martin, our first born son, is a joy and his partner Trent is a delight.  These two have blest us with a grandson Hudson. Second son Daniel is a single parent and the loving father of our granddaughter Mellena, which is derived from the Greek word for “honey.”  My family is perfect.

“I have two last questions, Judy.  What brought you to Big Red?” “I was looking for a church where they did not tell me that everyone I loved was going to hell.  I found that church here.”

“Why do you stay?”  I have a brand new family that loves me not because of but in spite of.”

Dale Buchanan is a member of FCCF with a passion for stories and writing. In between penning his own memoirs, he is helping us get to know our members, one pew at a time.