Can We Keep Talking?

From Peter Wall
Council Secretary and Co-Facilitator of Lent discussion, “Can We Talk About Guns?

I was skeptical when, a couple months ago, the Pastor asked if I would facilitate a Wednesday evening discussion group for the Lenten season: “Can We Talk About Guns?”

The title bothered me, for one thing. It sounded like some passive-aggressive nonsense. Here I am, reading the news, following social media, and awash in people talking about guns every time I turn around. And the sanctimonious liberals at The Big Red Church would have the gall to pretend that they need to start the conversation?

And let’s not kid ourselves: too many of our “discussion” groups just end up as one person talking for an hour. Why would I want to be that person? Also, I guess I can “talk about guns,” but guns are not really my thing. Most of what I could say has already been said.

Thinking that I had found the perfect roadblock, I said yes, but only on the condition that the Pastor could guarantee there would be somebody else in the room to disagree with me. (Because few things bother me as much as being in a room full of people without disagreeing.) Much more quickly than I expected, the Pastor confirmed that Alan Fry was willing to join the fun. Roadblock schmoadblock, I guess.

So, a few weeks ago, the group convened. And I was pleased to find a room full of about 20 people, nearly all of whom had something to say. Some of what they said was surprising. All of it was interesting.

It went on like that for five weeks. Only after the last session, on the fifth week, did it occur to me that the title “Can We Talk About Guns?” was not a smugly ironic request for “permission.” Really, it was a challenge: Are we able to talk about guns? Are we competent to have the conversation at all? Because all that stuff that I seem to be awash in every time I turn around is not really a conversation. It is really just people shouting into a whirlwind.

On the fifth week of “talking about guns,” after clearing a lot of ground, and doing a lot of repeating ourselves, and getting to know each other a little better, we discovered something important. The gun violence in our culture is a breach of relationships. And relationships are what happen when people talk with each other. So, at 6:57 p.m., three minutes before the end of the five-week series, just in the nick of time, someone asked whether the conversation can continue.

Well, can it? Are we up to the challenge? Bring yourself and your ideas and all your disagreements to the Heritage Room next week, Wednesday, March 28, at 6:00 p.m.: “Can We Keep Talking?” We will start with guns, and then we will see where it goes. Are we able to keep talking? Are we competent to continue the conversation? Come and see.

A Sacred Pursuits Series on Forgiveness

Starting June 7, a three-part series on Forgiveness will be offered by Jane L. Kuhn LMFT during our Sacred Pursuits time. Explore forgiveness, learn tools to help the process, and heal yourself and your relationships. 

Join us at 6:00 on June 7, 14, and 21 in the Heritage Room.

From Jane Kuhn:

Forgiveness Workshop: A psycho-educational/experiential process model

Each year thousands of individuals and couples seek professional help from marriage and family therapists, social workers, spiritual counselors, and other mental health professionals to address issues of concern in their relationship with themselves and others. Forgiveness is a concept frequently used in interpersonal and intrapersonal healing. Forgiveness can be a difficult and complex process involving deep emotional work. Most people, who find it painful to do forgiveness process work alone, are willing to attend a workshop that will educate them, give them specific tools, and involve them in a direct hands-on experience of forgiveness.

This workshop can be presented to individuals and couples to help them learn why forgiveness is an important component to be considered in healing their relationships. Research supports the efficacy of the use of forgiveness interventions in therapeutic settings. Various stage models have been developed and utilized by mental health practitioners. This workshop provides a synthesis of these models and includes a guided visualization technique. The benefits of a physically and psychologically healthier individual and couple relationship may follow with the use of these interventions.

This powerful workshop can be life altering, educating people about what forgiveness is and then giving them tools and a direct experience to help heal at deeper levels. Forgiveness is a step toward peace and reconciliation in our personal lives, our relationships, our community, and our world.

This two-phase workshop, presented in a 3-hour timeframe, targets individuals or married couples who are interested in learning how to heal their relationships, develop a deeper intimacy, and gain specific tools to use in the forgiveness process. The first phase psycho-educational portion of the workshop covers the different aspects and definitions of forgiveness, erroneous myths about forgiveness, and the obstacles and benefits of forgiveness. A step-by-step forgiveness process is described, examples given for each step, and time allowed for questions and answers.  Relevant handouts will be available.  

The second phase of the workshop consists of guided forgiveness imagery.  Individuals and couples will choose personal forgiveness issues to work on incorporating their own spiritual beliefs as desired. During the forgiveness visualization the individuals and couples will be guided through the process by imagery of releasing and transforming emotions of hurt, bitterness, judgment, betrayal, anger, and self-blame. After each of the 3-guided visualizations, time will be given to journal thoughts and feelings. An opportunity for breakout groups and/or voluntary group sharing will be available as well as time for questions. An increase in perceptions of interpersonal and self-forgiveness may follow as well as a sense of hope, peace and gratitude.